BDSM beginner tips for consensual scarf play

bedroom games scarves


Wendy gets tips from an expert on playing with scarves – a consensual bedroom game for beginners exploring the world of BDSM.

I had the pleasure of tracking down Mr. Bond Dave to talk to him about his ongoing mission to educate people about the sensual art of playing with scarves in the bedroom.

According to Bond Dave, this activity is perfect for BDSM beginners. Not only does it implement items most people already have around the house, it’s also easier to explain a suitcase full of silk fabrics than a suitcase full of chains, handcuffs and rope at the airport. He gave me some practical advice to consider at the con, so I decided to pass it on to all of you lovely readers out there.

BDSM beginner tips for consensual scarf play

1. Know your partner.

It is important to be comfortable with your partner, and for the person who is doing the tying to know the recipient’s limits. This should be fun and sexy, not uncomfortable and chafing.

2. Pick fabrics carefully.

There are a lot of factors to consider when picking fabrics. Silk works best in warmer climates, while wool and cotton are perfect for a cold winter’s night. Of course, whatever feels best on your skin is what you should ultimately pick.

Bond Dave says thicker silk squares work better than the gauzy silk, which may bite into skin. Also, depending on the material, scarves can be sultry or cuddly. They are easy to buy, and you won’t have to hide them if a parent comes to visit.

3. If you’re going to play with gags or inserting anything into the recipient’s mouth, be careful.

Don’t let anything dangle into the recipient’s throat, watch for signs of discomfort and make sure their gag reflex isn’t triggered. And, if you’re on the receiving side, don’t be afraid to show your partner something’s gone wrong. This harkens back to the principle of having fun.

4. Be cautious of tying anything around the neck area.

The neck is sensitive, and a lot of problems can occur from anything being tied around it too tightly. It’s much better to drape fabrics loosely over this area or feather it with kisses or tickles than risk hurting the one you love.

5. There is nothing wrong or abnormal about adding a bit of spice to your life.

While some adventurers may opt for ropes or cuffs, scarves are perfect for those who want a sensory experience without pain or degradation. Playing with scarves is the perfect way to dabble without jumping in head-first.