Christmas Flirting Guide – An Unashamed A to Z
Why so serious? This unabashed Christmas flirting guide can be taken with a pinch of salt, but darling, that mistletoe is there for a reason. Locate your nearest moonberry of winter folklore tradition and crank the vamp up to 11 with this festive flirting A to Z!
A is for asking
Don’t presume your person of choice knows you fancy them. Make it clear you are free! Spread the word that you are on the hunt for Christmas passion and see if they try to catch your eye!
B is for biting
Do take advantage of the moment and have a little nibble of a mince pie. It’s the season of indulgence and enjoyment of all the senses. Artfully brushing crumbs from your lips is a good luck, and any drinking requires sustenance.
C is for closing in
Ensure you are within proximity of the one you wish to lock lips with! Be it in a lift, a corner, a dance floor or a kitchen disco. Move in, but keep it subtle. Undulate up to them and see how it goes…
D is for dancing
Get your groove on and shake what you’ve got. When you show you are uninhibited you are revealing that you know how to have a great time. Shoulder shimmy at your chosen one, throw in a booty bounce and give them some grade-A body language that says “I love myself and I like you too”.
E is for eye contact
Express yourself through your pupils: Blink and hold for a few seconds, then look up at your heart’s desire. Your pupils will have dilated and we all know this is a sign you’re interested. Got it?
F is for fabulousness
This is your mantra. Repeat after me: I am fabulous. I am fabulous. I am FABULOUS. Tell yourself at least twenty times a day until you know it’s true. If you can see the fabulousness in you, how can anyone else miss it?
G is for gold
I don’t mean dress as the fairy on top of the tree (unless you want to, and who am I to suggest that pine needle pants aren’t a rocking look?). I mean a shimmer, a glimmer, a glint. A twinkle of burnt golden glow on the eye, a delicate rose gold sparkle on the cheek. Throw on a juicy peach-gold lip. A little gold goes a long way (ask the leprechauns). Let’s sparkle!
H is for hats
Hats are cool. They are also a marvellous talking piece. Worried about hat hair? Don’t be. If you’re a short-haired sex pot, slick it back and do the 1990s supermodel wet look thing. Mid to long hair? Just grab it and grip it up in sections. This will create volume when you lose the hat later. Simply unpin and shake through (and carry a hairtie just in case!). If you have a ‘fro, feel free to let it go! Your hair will most likely stay perfect all night. And you get to define perfect, anyway. But yeah… hats.
I is for ice
Not Vanilla. Urgh. Ice in your chosen poison. Clink that ice in your glass and drink to your best friends. Nobody looks better than when they’re laughing naturally and relaxing with their friends.
J is for jelly-drunk
Here is a little warning. Do NOT get so drunk that you snort green vodka jelly up your nose. As a pulling method this is my biggest-ever fail. Need I say more?
K is for kissing
Ok, ok, it’s pretty damned obvious… but just remember who might be watching. Choose your moment carefully. You don’t want your moment of passion to be splashed all over social media, do you? You do? Oh, then carry on – all is as it should be!
L is for lying down
Far be it for me to say where you end up, but sometimes it’s nice to tempt a little and not go the full hog roast. If it gets to the lying down (or standing up) stage, make sure you’re sober enough to use protection.
M is for mistletoe
Wear it in your hair! Even better, create a mistletoe wreath and entwine those little battery pack fairy lights. They can’t say they didn’t see you coming!
N is for Nurofen
Or Anadin, or Ibuprofen… choose your drug and have a stash in. The morning after, down a pint of water, grab a tab and plenty of carbs. Hangover cures are a-plenty, so make sure yours is foolproof.
O is for Oh Oh Oh!
It makes a change from Ho Ho Ho, right? That feeling of delight, that shiver of anticipation when your quarry is interested. Don’t be shy! Give them the eye! What have you get to lose? Remember you are FABULOUS (See F).
P is for picnic
When you have found your mate, set a date! What could be more romantic than a winter picnic? Take a flask of soup, blankets, a hot toddy and warm bread wrapped in tin foil. Raining? No sweat. Do it indoors. Don’t forget to light a million tea lights and turn off the TV. Create your own Winter Wonderland.
Q is for queen
That’s you! The queen of the party scene. The Royal Rockstar Extraordinaire. Act accordingly. Pull your shoulders back and lift your chin. Bestow your hottest looks on your fans and dedicate a song to your devotees. They deserve it.
R is for red
Red lips. What more do you need? Don’t forget to apply, blot, reapply and add a touch of shimmer to your cupid’s bow for a perfect highlight. Splash some gloss in the bottom centre for a perfect pout and get ready to be kissed! See more tips on choosing and applying red lipstick here.
S is for satisfaction
If you can’t get no satisfaction, move on ‘til you find the action. If the party you’re at is dying a death, don’t be obliged to stay. Grab your friends and move on. Go into town. Check out the newest bar. There’ll be a zillion events and places to go this week with peeps on an adventure to find fun and frolics.
T is for taxi
Ensure you have the local taxi firm firmly in your phone. Carefully choose your moment to leave. You don’t want to be so drunk you’re fumbling around like a new-born foal. Leave on a high and leave them longing for more.
U is for usurped
So you’ve dressed to impress and another girl’s wearing the same? Go up to her and congratulate her on her dress sense. Grab a selfie together. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Find some fairy lights and drape them round your neckline, hitch up your skirt with a belt. Or switch your V-neck round so it’s a V-back. Laugh it off, lover – you’re both stars in your own right.
V is for victory dance
You’ve pulled. You’re on fire. You feel amazing! Don’t leave your friends in the lurch. Get on the floor and do a victory dance with them. Your conquest will get a chance to see your moves. They’ll wait.
W is for Wine Wednesday
You didn’t pull?
There’s always Wine Wednesday. Between Christmas and New Year hold an evening of decadence. Re-light your tealights, sling a throw/blanket/curtain over your table and sprinkle it with glitter. Serve hot cherry wine, cheese and biscuits. Play some sing-a-long tunes. Invite your friends under the provisor that they bring a single. Get ready to mingle – this is your chance to enjoy decadence in your very own fairy grotto.
X is for X-rated
If you persisted and have given out your number, do not under any circumstances send any X-rated pics. They will haunt you! Keep your undies on and focus on your face. Don’t be drawn into any sleazy games.
Y is for YES!
Yes to the invitation to go skating! Yes to a midnight cinema showing! Yes to an impromptu karaoke session! Yes to a pyjama party! Yes! Yes! Yes! It’s that time of year when all kind of invitations come your way. What are you waiting for?
Z is for Zzzzzzzzzzzz…
We all need SOME sleep. After a few nights of partying run a long, soothing bath and go to bed really early. Grab your favourite novel, spray your pillow with lavender and drift away. Make the most of your beauty sleep. You’ve got a busy week!
Tagged in: christmas