The man in the Levis ad

After previously forcing her number on the tousle-mopped Alex Zane, Zoe-Ann Harris has a second chance to make good – when the tattooed, ear-tunnelled guy from the Levis ad walks into her local. Is that the sound of wedding bells? No, it’s the sound of lead balloons plummeting back to the pillowy chest of Mother Gravity…

I’ve had an attack of the ‘Alex Zanes‘ again. It’s an official disease I have.

I’m in my local boozer on a Saturday night with my friend and her boyfriend.

In walks the most beautiful (well, what I believe to be) man at this present time. He’s only the flipping guy on the Levi’s ad campaign. You know the one with the tattoos and flesh tunnels in his ears. Ahh, swoon. It’s like love at first page turn! I found out from the other month’s issue of ID magazine that he comes from Bromley. Unbelievable that some so beautiful can come from such a place. However interesting this information is, I know that the chances of ‘bumping’ into him a highly unlikely. He’s a model, for Christ’s sake – what the hell is he going to be doing in Bromley?

Drinking in my local, apparently.

I swoon / perv, in fact I perv a lot from afar but it’s not enough. I have to talk to him. But what do I say without sounding like a complete dick and indeed stalker? My friend and her boyfriend get more and more frustrated with me as the evening progresses and I eventually summon the courage, after stiff Southern Comforts and a much-deserved fag, to talk to him.

It’s closing time and he’s forever surrounded by friends (who also happen to be super-hot). I see my chance and poke him in the arm…

Me – Can I ask you a random question?

Mr Levis – Umm, yeah, sure.

Me – Are you the guy from the Levis adverts?

Mr Levis – Umm, yeah, I am.

Me – Ah, I thought so. Sorry, I know that sounds a bit weird, it’s just that I’m a bit of a fashion geek. I’m Zoe by the way.

Mr Levis – Nah, that’s cool, I’m Josh.

‘

Me – Cool. So can I give you my number, maybe go for a drink?

I’m literally handing him my number written on the back of a receipt which I wrote out 3 hours previous to this encounter.

Mr Levis – Oh, I’ve got a girlfriend. She’s actually over there.

Bloody hell! He hands me back my number. At least Alex Zane took it. His never ringing is beside the point but he didn’t hand it back to me.

I say, ‘never mind’ and make a swift exit. After shaming myself up in front of his mates it’s definitely time for bed.

It still stands that he is beautiful and I’m glad I eventually got the guts to talk to him. No regrets and I didn’t end the night kicking myself for being stupid and thinking ‘what if’. You may feel like a fool at the time – and indeed for months after – but I live in hope that someone will eventually take my number and put me out of my misery.

Girls, see the chance and go get it. I just hope you have more success than me!