Solitary Witch? Or Coven?

by Luthaneal

Walking the Path: Going it alone vs. practicing with a group

As a fresh, newbie pagan you're soon going to have the delightful choice of deciding whether to be solitary in your beliefs or flirt with joining a coven. Luthaneal helps you look at the ins-and-outs of pagan solitary and group work...

Once a young Pagan or witch has established what they believe and the path that they wish to follow, they will sooner or later be presented with the choice of walking that path alone or joining a group with similar beliefs.

Both methods have advantages and disadvantages that should be considered when deciding whether or not to join others. Are their goals the same as yours? Do they allow you to adequately explore your new beliefs? What do you have to do in order to join?

These and many other questions will need to be answered while you determine whether you are better suited to solitary practice or group practice.

Standing before the Gods

The first thing that you should determine about any potential group is whether or not their beliefs are compatible with your own. If the answer is no, then they obviously aren't right for you. Talk to members of the group and find out what they believe to see if they see things in the same way that you do and more importantly, whether or not they will allow you to express your beliefs in a way that you feel is right for you.

Each group will have their own way of practicing, whether they are more of a religious group or just a coven of witches following a magical path. This means that they will undoubtedly have certain rituals and practices that they use to express their beliefs and honour any Gods that they may have. Find out as much as you can about these practices to see if you would be comfortable doing them and if you feel that they are a good way for you to come to your Gods.

A person's relationship with their deities is very much at the core of their practices and so it is important for you to understand how it is that you relate to your Gods and how you may wish to develop that relationship. Say to yourself “will joining this group benefit the relationship I have with my Gods?”

Standing with the Clan

When you join a group such as a Coven, you are not just taking a step in developing your beliefs, you are also taking a step into the lives of other people and they also move into your life.

In many ways this can be like gaining an extended family. You will be sharing some very intimate moments with these people, allowing their ideas to help shape your own and teaching each other as you go. In a more mundane sense, you will most likely eat alongside them at times, drink together and maybe even go away to places with them. So obviously it is very important that you actually like these people!

It doesn't really matter whether or not they share your beliefs and you like their practices, if you can't stand being around them. A religious or ritual group can be just like any other. It has good times and bad. The people are like a family that can support and guide each other, but they can also disagree and gossip amongst themselves as much as anyone else. Each group will be as different and unique as its members and the dynamic between them. You need to take into account how you would fit into that dynamic and indeed, they need to know that they will get along with you too.

Benefits of working in a group or coven:

• Coming together for the sake of worshiping the Gods and performing magic is an ancient practice that has been performed across many cultures for thousands of years. By joining a group you are following in the footsteps this tradition.

• There is a common belief that working in a group, especially in rituals and magic, raises more energy to put into those rituals, making a group stronger than a solitary practitioner.

• Some paths emphasize the importance of honouring family and the community. Working in a group helps to keep one mindful to this ideal.

• Being part of a group often gives you access to personal teachers and guides to help you on your path.

• In religions such as Wicca, there are specific teachings that can only be obtained through initiating into a Coven.

• As you become more experienced in a group you will gain the opportunity to become a teacher in that group yourself.

• Working in a group provides close friends and family that you can share your beliefs with.

“I prefer to work as part of a group rather than alone because it gives me a sense of "family" and of a group mind and energy. We have shared experiences, which have occurred as a group, and also individual experiences that others within the group have also experienced at one time or other and we are able to discuss these things and explore them as a group. Above all, it is a connection to the wider Wiccan family and the support that this brings, which makes group work preferable to solitary work for me.” (Coven Wiccan Priestess)

Standing Alone

Unlike many religions in our culture which put an emphasis on coming together as a group, Pagan religions generally don't require this. In fact, due to the scattered spread of Pagans it is often just the easier option for an individual to practice alone and in many cases this is the preferred way for them to do things.

Being solitary can make things difficult in a lot of ways, but it can also have its own unique benefits. You can do things exactly how you want and only need worry about yourself. On the downside, though, you don't have the benefit of learning from other people, other than what you may read in books or maybe on the internet. This in itself can be a problem, as you won't necessarily know which websites are respectable, which books are good and where their authors are coming from.

But of course, being solitary doesn't mean that you suddenly can't talk to other Pagans at all. You're just as welcome to attend Pagan events and join certain organisations.

Ultimately the solitary path is about freedom! It leaves a person free to find their own way, find their own truths and make their own mistakes. To be solitary is to learn the hard way, but also to reap all the benefits of doing all the work yourself.

As a solitaire, you may lack the support and guidance of other people, but you take the direct path to inner strength and individuality.

Benefits of working as a Solitaire:

• Following a solitary Pagan path gives you the freedom to find your own way without having to follow a structured method of progressing.

• A lot of solitaries are Eclectic, meaning that they take bits and pieces from a lot of different paths in order to build their own. This is a lot harder to do in a group.

• Some people choose the solitary path simply as a matter of privacy. To them, their spirituality is their business and they don't feel comfortable sharing it.

• When you work alone you don't need to worry about attending group functions, meaning that you can essentially set your own time-table and do things wherever you like.

• Rituals performed by the solitaire are like a reflection of that person. As there is no one else to influence their workings, they are free to give all their rituals a personal touch.

• Coming before the Gods alone, the solitaire is solely responsible for how they present themselves.

• Some people just don't work well with others.

“I've practiced alone for many years now and enjoy the freedom it gives me to explore my spirituality. I've enjoyed doing some rituals with close friends occasionally, but this also helps me realise that everyone is moving at their own rate and so practicing alone most of the time has allowed me to move at my own rate without worrying about those around me who may be either playing catch-up or perhaps just have interests that steer them away from the direction that I want to go in.” (Solitary Witch)

Despite the differences between these two styles of spirituality, it is important to note that choosing one does not necessarily negate the use of the other. A member of a group or coven can still practice things alone in their own time and in their own way, and a solitaire may choose to work with others from time to time, assuming she can find people interested in doing so.

Advice for pagans working alone

The greatest problem faced by any solitary practitioner is the need for information. Ultimately how you experience magic and the Gods will be entirely unique to you, but there are methods and techniques already in place that most will want to use in order to follow their chosen path. After all, that is a lot easier than trying to invent your entire religious path from scratch (though there is nothing to stop you from doing so) and chances are that it is the already established ideas of your chosen path that attracted you to it in the first place.

The problem after that point is in finding information that allows you to move beyond the basics and into a detailed, accurate practice.

So the best thing to do is read as many books as you can get your hands on and talk to other practitioners to share information and ideas. Find out who the most reputable authors are in your area of interest and the ones to stay away from.

Sooner or later though, you may just have to realise that there is some information and experiences that you just can't get if you work alone. In fact, some paths (Wicca, for example) have oath-bound information which is held in secret and can only be released to people who are initiated into an official group. But that doesn't invalidate the solo path. Indeed, as a solitary practitioner you may also have experiences that are entirely unique to you and maybe even gain your own private practices and insights.

Likewise, you are free to just disregard any traditional teachings and practices that don't agree with you. A group may insist on certain things in their rituals, but a solitaire can use whatever they like and just throw out the rest. In other words, your practices can be made entirely unique to you.

The main guidance for a solitaire comes from two sources: Written material such as books and websites, and personal experience. Don't underestimate the value of either of these things, because you will have to use them to the fullest in order to progress.

Advice on joining a group or coven

When joining a group there are generally four stages to building this relationship: Meeting, Learning, Initiation and Advancement.

Meeting

The first step to joining a group is the initial stage of seeking them out, getting in contact with them and communicating with them.

The best way to find a group these days is probably online or by attending Pagan events.

Good websites to use are:

Witchvox at http://www.witchvox.com

The Pagan Federation at http://www.paganfed.org

If you live in the UK then a good event to go to would be Witchfest, while international readers should check their online country listings for events in their areas. Both Witchvox and The Pagan Federation International will provide some event listings.

Initial communication may be through emails and phone calls, but eventually (assuming you are okay with the people so far) you will come to meet the group in person.

Always be careful when meeting people for the first time!!!

Meeting people is a big step and you must take care. Always meet in a public place, let people know where you will be and what you are doing, and if you are under eighteen get an adult to go with you, at least for the initial meeting.

At this stage you are getting to know the people in the group and they are getting to know you. This allows both you and them to find out whether or not you are right for each other. Keep it light, keep it social and you can move onto the heavier stuff later.

Learning

If you decide that you wish to go ahead with the group and they are happy to have you, then it is time to start discussing the deeper aspects of belief. This is when you will have to start learning in depth what they believe and how they practice.

At this stage you are still able to walk away if you find anything that you are unhappy with and indeed, you probably should. However, it is also important to remember that the group won't always cater to what you or any one member wants, which is why compromise is important at times. Be ready to compromise, but don't compromise over something you strongly disagree with.

Many groups practice in certain ways that you may not be comfortable with. They may meet regularly every week, possibly perform rituals naked (skyclad), or maybe even use alcohol in rituals. If you don't agree with these or anything else, then don't join such a group.

However, the most important aspect of this stage is as preparation for Initiation. It is a time to learn all the basics of the group's beliefs so that you are ready to take the bigger step into official membership.

Initiation

Initiation can cover several different things in regards to our meaning here. There is literal Initiation into a group, involving a ritual, but for our purposes here “initiation” can also be something as simple as filling out an application or paying your membership dues.

But for the sake of this article, we will look at the more literal kind of Initiation through the use of an official ritual. Initiation is the culmination of all your studies and the final result of your decision to commit to group practice. Depending on the religion or group you are joining, Initiation rituals can all be very different. In some paths it will be a process through which you declare yourself to your Gods, in others it will be process through which patron Gods actually choose you. More conventionally though, Initiation is primarily about being accepting into a group and declaring yourself as a follower of a certain path.

Perfect love and Perfect trust

This is a phrase that you may come across when dealing with groups and Initiations. It means a great deal of things and has many subtle levels, but it is a very good way of summing up what it means to be Initiated. When you are Initiated the Coven (or similar group) is making a declaration that they trust you with their secrets and that they are willing to accept you into their family. It is a sharing of things that are very intimate to them and it is also a great honour. By accepting Initiation you are proclaiming that you are indeed worthy of that trust and willing to trust them in the same way. For this reason it is very important that you are sure about taking this step. Initiation is a gift, a commitment and a responsibility. Thusly, it is not to be taken lightly. For the same reason, you shouldn't rush into Initiation too soon. The kind of love and trust that is shared between Initiates should be treated like any other important relationship. It takes time to build up that kind of connection to people and it is a bad idea to try to force it too soon.

As an Initiate you are making a declaration to yourself, your Coven mates and to the Gods themselves. It is a declaration to not only enter the group in this spirit of perfect love and perfect trust, but also to strive to maintain that ideal throughout your life. So make sure that you are willing to accept everything that comes with such a commitment.

The Self-Initiation Fable

“Self-initiation” is technically an incorrect term, but it is one that you may run into from time to time.

Initiation is a gift of acceptance. To be Initiated means that that a group that you don't belong to is welcoming you into their fold. It is the opening of a door by another person and inviting you to step through.

You couldn't declare yourself a Catholic Priest and you couldn't give yourself a Knighthood. Initiation is the same; it is something that other people give to you, not something that you can give to yourself.

What people often refer to as “self-Initiation” is more correctly termed as a Dedication. This is when a person in a solitary capacity declares that they are going to follow a certain path or certain Gods, often by performing a personal ritual.

Dedication Rituals are absolutely fine for the solitary practitioner and a very good way to give your path a sense of personal meaning and structure, as well as an outspoken declaration to the Gods.

Click here to find out how to construct your own Dedication Ritual.

Advancement

Things don't just stop after Initiation. Some groups have very defined stages of advancement that Initiates can follow, but even if they don't you still continue to advance, as the very nature of being in such a group means that you will continue to gain experiences and knowledge.

Some groups are specifically geared towards teaching and even network with other groups in order to expand their field of knowledge. Indeed, many group members will even study in areas beyond the central teachings of the group they belong to, working with the practices of other Pagan religions and spiritualities.

So even if you join a group, it isn't a closed door that restricts you to the ideas and beliefs of that group. Chances are that the group itself will encourage further study from its members in the hope that the entire group will reap the benefits. In this way we begin to see how group practice can provide a person with access to a larger and more varied assortment of information, while also giving them a focused insight to their central beliefs.

Merry Meet and Merry Part

If you are lucky you may find a group that helps keep you happy and spiritually fulfilled for the rest of your life. But chances are that eventually you and your fellow Initiates will part company.

The reasons for this can be many. People move house, decide to start their own groups, seek independence or perhaps change beliefs altogether and feel that they need to walk a new path.

Most of the time any group will wish their friends luck if they have to leave, though they will obviously be missed. But we can't overlook the fact that sometimes people do also part on bad terms. Obviously, nobody wants to find themselves in this situation, so the best way to avoid it is to be as sure as you can about a group before you join. Make sure their goals are compatible with yours and perhaps more importantly, that you and your perspective coven-mates will get along as friends. Remember, you are likely to be spending a lot of time with these people, so make sure that you enjoy their company.

If and when it does come time to leave the group yourself, leave with the same spirit of perfect love and perfect trust that you came into the group with.

When you leave you take with you the trust and secrets of those you leave behind and they hold the same of you. So be sure to keep the promises you made and in so doing keep the friends and family that you made also.

As the saying goes: Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again.

So what's better? Solitary work or coven work?

Quite honestly, there is no better, there is only what is better for you. Some people naturally gravitate towards one or the other, some try both before deciding and some don't get much choice in the matter because of where they live or the people around them. The important thing is to do what you feel comfortable with. Paganism isn't about indoctrination. Nobody is going to force you to join a group, but people will most likely help you if you try to find one for yourself.

Just keep close to what feels right and practice in the way that you find is best.

Your spirituality is your own, so walk the path that feels right for you.

About the author

Luthaneal has been a Pagan for over eighteen years and has been a student of religion for even longer. He works as a writer, which he sees as a great excuse to sit at home, read a lot of books and generally make having fun look like hard work. Somewhere in the midst of all this he can often be found lurking in and around London, or conveniently drinking a Starbucks' frappuccino in a nearby graveyard.

MORE: Alternative opinion

MORE: Magic and Spirituality

Mookychick messageboard